Yesterday I led my first global Clarity Breathwork ceremony in front of over seventy people. This ceremony was a bigger stage than I'm used to (that of my breathwork teachers) and there was a rocky road leading up to it, including my assigned co-facilitator bowing out just two days before our ceremony.
The picture above was taken just afterward: those are my breathwork teachers Dana and Ashanna, and the angel who agreed to step in and lead with me at the last minute, an assistant facilitator named Manuela. I’m on the top right. My huge grin is one of relief, pride, and that feeling after you just did something that was so oh-so-scary but also felt really good.
But less than twenty four hours before this picture my face looked quite different: I was sobbing in front of my forty breathwork classmates as I said the following things:
I can't do this
I'm not ready
I'm not like you people who are grounded and loving and calming, I am actually a piece of neurotic dog shit who should probably just crawl in a hole
Okay I didn't say that last part about being a piece of shit to all of my spiritual and loving breathwork classmates, but I sure felt it. I was in a total shame spiral and decided (against the advice of my inner teenager) to raise my hand and dare to be witnessed in that place.
And you know what happened? Something pretty incredible.
The ceremony ended up going great which was an amazing feeling: I got to embody a space that I dream of creating in my own life's work, one of leading large groups on an inner journey of reflection, presence, and healing. But there was something else happening, a thing beneath the "thing" of the actual ceremony that I really want to share with you...
I believe this ceremony went well BECAUSE I was willing to be witnessed in my spiral the day before.
By getting vulnerable with a group of safe and open-hearted people, I allowed myself to be seen in my completeness:
I am a powerful leader AND sometimes fucking terrified
I am grounded enough to support the healing of a large group AND sometimes my inner twelve year old begs me to hide before we do something embarrassing
I am capable of holding a safe and vulnerable space BECAUSE I allow others to hold one for me
I truly believe I was only able to step out so powerfully because of the vulnerability I practiced the day before. Letting people see and support me gave me a sturdy base from which I could stretch into this powerful* new experience the next day.
It was so freeing.
This type of support doesn't happen just anywhere: the reason we have stories begging us to hide is because most of us have shown our tender underbellies before and been hurt. But that's why I'm sharing this story here - because this is what we do in the women's circle.
It's a safe, supportive, and loving space of healing. All of you is welcome and lovingly witnessed, and no one is judging, advising, or trying to fix you. That in and of itself is freeing.
Though you're welcome to burst into tears and share your heavy stuff at a circle, you don't have to - maybe you'll actually be bursting with joy, ideas, or simply wanting to be witnessed that day. The point is that you can show up truthfully and transparently, be reminded that you're NEVER alone in your experiences, and let the healing of this space return you to the world feeling sturdier than you arrived.
If you’d like to come & identify as a woman, click here to join us this Sunday January 29th
In the short time since this vulnerable moment and ceremony, I've had many classmates reach out and give me words of support, encouragement, and "me too." Rather than spinning out in a vulnerability hangover, I decided to receive all of these messages with love.
How amazing is it to be fully seen? To throw our least-shiny selves out there and see a reflection of love, acceptance, and "me too"?
That was the beam beneath my smile above. I'd love for you to experience this too.
You can sign up to join us right here. And whether you come to the women's circle or not, I hope today you can remember something important...
The same parts we're most afraid to show the world are the places we most need love. When we're willing to accept love in those places, we experience the most healing.
Whether you're feeling like dog shit today or feeling like a million bucks, grounded in your divine power or letting your inner teenager run the show, I am sending you love exactly where you are.
Me too. Me too. Me too.
xo
Melissa
*Power is my word for 2023 - right sized power, grounded power, good and right and sturdy power. Do you have a word for 2023? I'd love to hear it (and why.) Join us!
ARE YOU ASKING THE QUESTIONS YOU’LL WISH YOU HAD?
The Questions You’ll Wish You Asked journals are designed to build connection and legacy between parents and children. Consider writing down answers for your kids, asking questions of your family members, or sending one of the Questions You’ll Wish You Asked journals to a person you care about today.
If you know a motherless mother, I created some journals for her.
Learn more about them below.
