Election week has a way of bringing up big questions and creeping dread. If you’re feeling the stress too, here are some sanity-saving self-care tips to help you stay grounded—perfect for this week or any time things feel uncertain.
How I Pitched Myself for a Screenwriting Job (Without Prior Experience)
A few months ago, I met a filmmaker at a kids' birthday party in San Francisco. When he found out I was a writer, he asked for my contact info, saying, "I figure you must know other writers." He mentioned that he often needed help with screenwriting and asked if I could recommend someone to assist with character development, plot structure, and brainstorming script solutions over Zoom. A few weeks later, he reached out again, looking for help with his latest screenplay. As I read the message, a wild idea crossed my mind...
Seven Tools That Kept Me Sober: Addiction, Darkness, and Where the Light Gets In
Twelve years ago today I got sober. I was 27 years old. I’d love to say I chose to get sober on this day, as if in one moment I finally had the wherewithal to make a different choice than I’d been making for so long. It’s that moment of choice that so many people ask about when their loved one is struggling with addiction - what was it for you? How did things finally change? What can I do?
Caring for Our Inner Baby: How to Get Through Tough Times
We all come into this world helpless, unable to control much, and so reliant on others to survive….but with an unconscious trust and desire for those needs to be met. We cried when we needed to, we ate, we reached out for touch, to be held. And when life has brought us to our knees, when difficulty persists and we have no idea what the future holds, a simple question can get us through:
What would a baby need right now?
What is Shadow Work and Why Do it? Plus Tracy Chapman, IFS, and Writing Prompts for the Crescent Moon
Carl Jung’s naming of the “shadow” and how to actually do the work, the internet rediscovers Tracy Chapman at the Grammys but it’s her mind-blowing 1988 performance that’ll change you, writing prompts for the crescent moon, and more about Internal Family Systems, or "IFS": a therapeutic modality that you might not know about but definitely should.
Can we ambitious and peaceful?
How Choosing a Word for the Year Changes Your Life
There's a really helpful and simple practice for creating the year that you want: you choose a word to center. This word could be a feeling, type of experience, even a color – it just needs to nudge something within you. (If you already do this, I have one more tip for you below - a way to harness the magic in your word.)
Questions to Ask During the Holidays
Even when you’re committed to a minimalist season, there’s so much pressure during the holidays.
Our brains can come up with frantic questions to munch on (Am I doing enough? Can I afford this? Who am I forgetting?) but there are better questions to ask - ones to help you sort the outer noise from the inner calm.
Sit in the bath and ponder these, write a few out in your journal, or chat them out with someone you love. May they anchor and calm you to truly enjoy the beauty of this season.
The Mother Wound in the Decade Since My Mom Died: On Pain, Love, and the Mountain
There's a photo that’s fascinated me since the first time I saw it. It's of my mom on her fourth birthday, which I know because of the inscription on the back. She’s nuzzling her own mother, both of them seated on the stage of a sixties-era venue, and my grandmother is gazing into the distance with a smile. It’s a very sweet moment. It’s also a very strange photo for me, because I never knew them like this. The relationship I knew of my mom and her mom was one of seething anger (my grandma’s) and constant hurt and defensiveness (my mom’s.) Theirs was a pain that began long before I arrived, but that cast a shadow over my childhood, and everything in my mother’s life.
On Matthew Perry, Addiction, and the Stories that Outlive Us
I used to be so afraid of talking about my addiction. For years I'd only disclose it in the confines of recovery meetings, one on one conversations, and if I thought it would help someone struggling. It could have stayed like that. But part of how I got sober was through other people’s stories - even if those people didn’t stay sober themselves.