Friend.
How is 2024 starting for you? Has there been a LOT coming to the surface, or just me?
I’m not sure if you ended up choosing a word for the year*, but after toying with a few, I settled on TRUST.
Trust that I am allowed to move slowly, trust that there is enough (time, creativity, abundance) and trust that somehow, some way, I am always supported, even if things get scary and uncertain.
And that’s exactly what 2024 has brought - more fear and uncertainty due to big unpredictable life and health changes than I have gone through…well, ever.
In some ways it feels like this year has brought me to an unavoidable surrender of control (the epitome of trust) and also made me aware of my most primitive needs.
It’s had me reflecting on the vulnerable way we all come into this world - helpless, unable to control much, and so reliant on others to survive….but with an unconscious trust and desire for those needs to be met. We cried when we needed to, we ate, we reached out for touch, to be held. And in these past few months of being brought to my knees, a friend offered me an apt question that’s been walking me through this time…
What would a baby need right now?
When I’m fearful about the future, depressed about the past, or hurting so much with the uncertaint present, asking:
Rather than being “productive” or numbing out with social media, do I need to go to sleep?
Do I need to spend some time making myself something nourishing to eat, rather than just grabbing whatever is easy and available?
Do I need to call a friend instead of trying to navigate this feeling alone?
Doing all of this while raising two young kids is both humbling and a reminder: we all have needs. But as I’ve been implementing these most basic tools, my “inner baby” has felt held enough that my “grown up self” has been able to find some safety - and show up in the most basic ways for everyone.
The next time you’re at in a place like this, I want to offer you a few additional tools that have been getting me through:
These questions:
What does a baby need?
What would support feel like right now?
Even if I can’t see the whole picture, what is the next right thing?
These words by David Whyte:
Podcasts that open our tender human hearts like this one (We Can Do Hard Things episode 293, featuring Alok)
The reminder that is safe to have needs, to ask for support, and to treat yourself oh so tenderly, through the hard times and also through the best of times.
And whether you’re going through it right now or not, I want to invite you to virtual super new moon breathwork this Sunday evening, April 7th 2024.
This particular night is ideal for planting seeds, embracing darkness and nothingness, accessing and entering the empty space from which all new life springs.
Is something asking to be born within you? Does your inner little one long for a swaddle, or some hushed reassurance that it really IS going to be okay, in the form of a supported and gentle breathwork practice facilitated by me?
It’s from 7-8:30pm PST. There are two ways to attend:
Become a member of my monthly breathwork membership (Living Questions, Breathing Answers) for $33/month (which gives you access to all of the former ceremony replays,, journaling replays, breathwork tracks, and much more.)
Sign up for just this session here and Venmo me (@melissa-pennel) a sliding scale payment of $22, $33, or $44 for this one ceremony.
Lastly, give this song a listen - it’s been one of my favorites to calm my nervous system and do some deep breathing with. Let it tend to that inner little one.
Sending you lots of love and soothing as we travel this human path,
Melissa Pennel
PS: It’s not too late to choose a word for the year - it’s just a place to anchor and head toward, keep you centered as life inevitably tosses and turns. If you have one, reply and tell me what it is? And remember…we can do this on whatever scale we want. Sometimes I choose a word of the day. It’s all perfect. So are you.
PPS: Here is a conversation with David Whyte (the poet above) with Krista Tippett of On Being. It’s about surrendering control and you should give it a listen.
ARE YOU ASKING THE QUESTIONS YOU’LL WISH YOU HAD?
We all contain multitudes, and I sure wish I’d thought to ask my mom more about hers while I still could. Consider writing down answers for your kids, asking questions of your family members, or sending one of the Questions You’ll Wish You Asked journals to a person you care about today. Don’t forget about the one designed for the longest and deepest relationship of your life: the one you have with yourself. Find them here.
