Even when you’re committed to a minimalist season, there’s so much pressure during the holidays.
Our brains can come up with frantic questions to munch on (Am I doing enough? Can I afford this? Who am I forgetting?) but there are better questions to ask - ones to help you sort the outer noise from the inner calm.
Sit in the bath and ponder these, write a few out in your journal, or chat them out with someone you love. May they anchor and calm you to truly enjoy the beauty of this season.
Questions to ask During the holidays:
What are my favorite parts of the holidays? Where can I invest more time, money, and space to those parts? (What will I need to divest from in order to do so?)
What do I remember the most about my own childhood holidays? How can I prioritize those types of memories with my own family?
What balls can I drop because they'll bounce and not break? (I heard this phrase recently and loved it. Read more about it below.*)
What would feel like I'm taking really good care of myself during this time? (Water before coffee? Reading instead of a screen before bed? Nix sending the holiday cards? <-- that could be a ball drop!)
What have been some of my favorite gifts to receive? Why were they my favorite? (Realizing what type of gift giving we’ve valued in the past can help us decide how and where to give to others - rather than spending a ton of money on frantic-must-buy-something items.)
Who might be feeling lonely this holiday season? Would it feel good to reach out to them with a text, call, or snail mail letter? (Checking in with your body to ask - is this me feeling overly responsible, or loving and kind?)
Who feels really supportive for me? How can I create more space for or with them?
What has been hurting my heart recently? What is one small step I can take to be a part of the solution? (Donate any amount? Call my representative? Volunteer?)
What do I want more of right now? What do I want less of?
What is my intention for the rest of this year?
***
For more nourishing support through this holiday season, come practice virtual breathwork with me on December 30th. It will be cozy, rejuvenating, and help release any emotional or physical muck that you don’t want following you into the new year.
Practicing breathwork can:
boost your immune system
release stress that’s stored in the body (unconscious stress too)
improve your mental clarity (especially the type of breathwork we’ll practice)
improve your respiratory function (great for parents like me who are getting cold after cold from our littles)
improve your emotional well-being
and so much more.
However this holiday season finds you, I hope you remember that you’re never alone in whatever feelings you’re having. Sending love, rest,and all the warm fuzzies.
Happy holidays, dear ones.
Melissa
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*The Juggling Glass and Rubber Balls Speech
Bryan Dyson, former CEO of Coca-Cola, discussed the juggling-glass-and-rubber-balls illustration in the final moments of his 1991 commencement speech at Georgia Tech, which he named the “Five Balls of Life.” Here’s what he said:
"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them—work, family, health, friends, and spirit—and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls—family, health, friends, and spirit—are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”
***My addition: I take any advice from a straight white man about how to balance life with a grain of salt. The juggling that those identifying as women (especially those with kids) do is SO different - and differently thought of by society and our own conditioning. Buttttt - there is some gold here. I love remembering that there are balls we can drop and they'll bounce, versus the ones that will break. THEY ARE DIFFERENT AT DIFFERENT TIMES. And I think we have to recognize that sometimes we have to drop the glass balls and let them break a little - that often this is because society expects a whole damn lot from us, especially around the holidays - but simply the act of being cognizant of these choices can be liberating.
***
The Questions You'll Wish You Asked Time Capsule journals are a time machine disguised as a journal. Within it are prompts for parents and grandparents to tell their story, leave valuable wisdom, and create a legacy of love that will outlast all of us. Are you asking the questions you'll wish you had?
Do you know a motherless mom?
I made a few journals just for her. Learn more here.
