Last week during the monthly rally at my daughter’s school, I ended up reciting the Pledge of Allegiance next to a mom I didn’t know on the blacktop. I’d clocked her shirt a few minutes earlier: Pumpkin Spice and Reproductive Rights. As we mumbled our way through “…and liberty and justice for all,” I leaned over, and in this unintentional doomsday tone, whispered:
“The next time we do this, we’ll have a new president-elect.” She visibly shivered. “I’m barely surviving right now,” she whispered back. “I can’t even think about that.”
And while I may not be the poster child for making new mom friends at school, I can sense collective anxiety. Election week is one of those times that forces us to confront the state of things—and the big question mark of what’s next.
If you’re feeling that creeping dread too, here are a few ways to put up emotional bumpers this week:
(Reminder: these tips are good for any stressful week, but they’re especially helpful during uncertain times.)
Build In Support:
Maybe that’s watching the results with someone you love, having a debriefing phone call with a friend tuesday or wednesday night, scheduling a session with your therapist or healer, attending a recovery meeting (if that’s in your toolkit), or maybe you and your bestie run down the street screaming WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! as the results pour in.
Different strokes for different folks, but it’s helpful to have some pre-planned contact with your support system built into a week with this much roving anxiety. Another idea: join us at free virtual co-working the Wednesday after election day from 2-3:30pm PST on Zoom. We won’t be debriefing on politics but we WILL be holding a sturdy group energetic space while we all attempt our adulting tasks, which is a lot in times like this.
Move Your Body:
However you’re feeling personally, there’s a collective nervousness and anxiety in the air. And maybe you’re like OH YEAH IT’S TOTALLY PERSONAL TOO. If so, even more reason to move, because our issues get stuck in our tissues.
Put on music and shake your body, writhe, jump, wave your arms from your desk, take a walk outside, take a class at the gym - anything to get the stress moving through and OUT.
Stuck energy is like that whack-a-mole game where you think you hide something away but it just pops up elsewhere, turning up as exhaustion, irritability, getting sick, flipping someone off on the freeway, etc. (Have I mentioned that halfway through co-working we take a dance break? Most people keep their cameras off but MOVING and shaking is also how we get unstuck creatively too. Here are some dancing songs from weeks past.)
Consume Comforting Content:
I love the term “attention diet.” The things that we pay attention to and let our brain eat get composted, digested, and turn into either the poop of anxiety and hopelessness or the nutrients of strength, growth, hope. (You like this metaphor, ey?)
Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash
I first realized this when I was postpartum and filled with debilitating anxiety. When I admitted to a practitioner that I loved true crime (I would listen to the most horrifying things as I breastfed my daughter to bed) she said something like “garbage in, garbage out.” I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about how consuming that stuff was affecting my mental health.
I’m not saying we should bury our heads in the sand - but anxiety is not activism, and we don’t need to be glued to traumatizing or informative media 24/7. Give that beautiful brain of yours some calming antidotes to munching on the endless news cycle of the next week: find some podcasts, books, shows, and movies that put your heart at ease. (Leave a comment and tell me what your favorites are, will you?)
Create Inner Space:
We are humans living in mammalian bodies with nervous systems that need to be given some love. Taking contemplative time to breathe and grow our inner space is one way to do that. If you wanna do so with a familiar and comforting voice, I made some tracks on Insight Timer just for you: here’s a meditation track on creating safety and trust within, and a breathwork track on accessing the wisdom of your future self.
Journal Your Stress:
Journaling can slow down your brain, allowing your less-conscious thoughts and feelings the chance to emerge. Here are a few ways to journal through stress:
Stream of consciousness writing
Try some uninterrupted, free-flow writing—similar to the "morning pages" from The Artist's Way. Aim for three pages of whatever comes to mind, without stopping or censoring yourself. GO TO TOWN.
Prompted Writing
Use prompts to dive deeper. Here are a few:
Grab a Questions You’ll Wish You Asked Yourself journal for a plethora of more prompts and open ended inquiries for widening that support window within.
Fear Inventory: Write out all your fears without holding back. This is a raw, unfiltered look at what’s on your mind. (Consider scheduling a call with a supportive friend afterward—sometimes this exercise can feel intense, and having someone to talk to afterward can ground you.)
Self-Inquiry:
How will I handle things, no matter what happens?
Visioning:
What is the highest vision I can hold for my country? My town? My family? Myself?
Support Check-In:
What would support feel like right now?
Help someone else:
Text or call a friend that’s struggling or someone whom you know might be alone most of the time, bake something for a neighbor, grab a trash picker-upper and pick up trash at a park, stand on the side of the road in a fat chicken suit with a sign that says “smile! we’re on a rock floating through space!”.
Full disclosure I’ve only done this on the side of the Run to Feed the Hungry in Sacramento, which I will totally do again this year, but I fully intend to do it on the side of the road on an election day someday. Maybe you want to this year? Report back.
Regardless, the surest way out of our own inner and outer hellscape is to dive into someone else’s and make it just a little better.
Take action:
Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash
Vote.
Even if you think your vote doesn’t matter, even if you’re not thrilled with the choices: remember that you can always make a difference (even just locally.) I know you’re already doing that, you’ve probably already voted, but taking appropriate and meaningful action is always an antidote to stress.
Donate:
Whether it’s a small or large amount, local or international, consider giving to a group that’s doing work you support. I donate monthly to my local children’s crisis center because I believe change begins with supporting families and children. Additionally, a portion of proceeds from every Questions You’ll Wish You Asked journal goes to the American Brain Foundation. Where does your heart tell you to give? Find a cause that matters to you, whether it’s a local “boots-on-the-ground” political effort or an animal shelter; every little bit helps build stronger communities and a better world.
Some more ideas: create something (grab watercolors or a coloring book and go to town) ground yourself in nature (touch a tree, dig your toes into the grass, squeeze a rock or stone) do some gardening, or bake something nourishing.
Alright, there’s a comprehensive list for ya.
What will you add to it? How can you build some bumpers into a week that threatens to send us all flying off the rails? Also who do you know that needs to read this? Forward this to them. That’s a small action step for ya.
Love you guys. Come to co-working this (and every Wednesday.) Then drink some water, turn the TV off, and tuck yourselves into bed before 12am.
Somebody remind me to do all that too.
xo
Melissa
PS: Is your family divided by politics? Do you find yourself filled with existential angst and fears for your kids? Want a tool for being a more mindful parent, present person, building more meaning into your life?
The Questions You’ll Wish You Asked journals are a means of connection, groundedness, and connection. Stemming from losing my mom before asking her important questions, they began as a way to write answers to my daughters and have transformed into a tool for intergenerational healing and connection for thousands of people. Special offer for those of you on my email list here.
Here are some images I made during the last election cycle. Still helpful.
