Many of you know that I recently started a podcast. It tarries with the question of “what should I do with my life?” and I’ve been working pretty hard at getting it live.
It’s been a ton of fun researching people to interview, talking with fascinating guests, and curating the entire thing in a way that I hope resonates with listeners.
It’s awesome.
It’s also waaaay harder than I thought it would be.
I knew it would take some effort and be out of my comfort zone but…you guys.
It’s a lot.
There’s finding people to interview, asking if they’re willing, setting up a time to Skype, curating good questions to ask them, figuring out all of my equipment (which has definitely not gone perfectly), creating intros and outros, getting it platform hosted and searchable, finding music, learning to splice, cutting the ums and likes and dead air and…and…phew.
I’m exhausted just writing about it.
And trust me when I say that I am NOT going for perfect. I figure if people want to hear NPR level production they’ll just listen to NPR – so perfect aspirations are not what’s holding me back. I’m okay with a few cat meows and snarfles here and there; I mean, I listen to (and love) those casual podcasts and am hoping my audience will too.
Honestly, this podcast is just new, very much out of my comfy skillset, takes a ton of effort…and I began to feel the wind leave my sails this past week.
It’s haaaaaard.
But you guys…I REALLY want to create this podcast.
Even with all the hassle and discomfort and the amount of times I’ve contemplated throwing my microphone at the innocent (and loud) leafblowers outside…I still really love it.
The brink of podcast insanity
I love getting the chance to tell stories. I love giving a platform to ordinary and incredible people who have already taught me SO much about so much. I love reflecting on the important points of the interview and typing up a script to introduce guests with.
This podcast thing is both TOTALLY my jam and TOTALLY brutal.
Both things at once…
Interesting, right? And it’s that juxtaposition that I want to share with you all.
See, technically I could ditch this idea and decide that being a mom and coach (and kinda having a life) is enough. I mean – it’s already a LOT. And I’m a huge fan of protecting one’s bandwidth…reserving our energy and focus for only those things that really matter.
But sometimes the things that really matter are also really challenging and push you out of your comfort zone – and it’s important to just keep trudging anyway.
Sometimes you find something that you love that you’re also not good at yet…and it’s uncomfortable.
And I’ve also done something important that’s helped me to keep trudging—something that I wanted to share with you guys because I think it could help you too…
I’ve brought my darling podcast idea out into the light and talked about it.
A LOT.
I’ve been talking about this project to anybody who’ll listen. I’ve made videos about it, blogs, written newsletters, posts, and backed multiple strangers into corners at holiday parties as I raved about this project and unraveled with excitement.
Talking about it did two things:
· Took this idea out of my head and into the world (thus making it more real)
· Provided a sense of accountability that keeps me going when the wind leaves my sails (because people are expecting something now.)
See, I could just ditch this whole thing and decide that it’s too hard – and I know nobody would judge me even if I did.
But I also know that I truly WANT to bring this podcast to your ears – it really feels like something that needs to be born, and I’m just kinda the vessel…the very excited and technically goofy vessel.
And while talking about it has helped me to trudge on when things are hard, there’s something else that’s kept me going too:
Signs.
Universe delivered, divinely sprinkled, legit miraculous and serendipitous signs.
I’ve actually gotten a few of them, and the latest happened today:
I was at the coffee shop with Tilly when I struck up a conversation with a nice lady at the table beside me. (By the way – if you’re looking to meet more people, I highly suggest having a baby – they’re great conversation starters.)
This woman mentions that she misses her own 10-month-old baby who’s at home; I notice that she has big heavy books sprawled out beside her at the table with the words “California State Bar Exam.”
“I’m really overwhelmed and don’t really know how I’m going to do this with a baby,” she said, pointing at her books and describing her bar prep; I totally understood because I recognized the exhausted look in her eyes.
My best friend had the same look….my best friend who went through law school and the bar exam with a little baby at home…my best friend who I JUST interviewed for the podcast.
Best friend Tamara and baby Reese in the moment she learned that she passed the CA state bar exam
As I listened to this woman talk I realized their stories were eerily similar: muscling through law school, having a baby, utter overwhelm, studying for the bar, wondering how they’d even manage to work if they passed…parallel paths.
Except my besty took and passed the bar and has been a practicing attorney, mom, and general badass for years.
She’s now a beacon of hope to other mommas out there who might be struggling with the work/life/bar prep/sanity/reality, which is why I interviewed her in the first place.
As I talked to my new coffee shop friend I started to get really excited, because I knew I had a story that could help her…if I could just power through my own personal podcast doldrums.
I started to gush about how she can TOTALLY do this, how I had so much faith in her, and she didn’t have to borrow my faith but instead she’d get even more reassurance when she heard the actual interview. We exchanged info and I promised her I’d send her the podcast once it’s done.
Ahhhhh.
And just like that….I had way more reason to keep going.
As I carried Tilly out to the car I renewed my podcast vows in my head – and though it’s taking me much longer than I thought it would to give birth to this baby – the podcast is being born, come hell or high water.
I hope my sharing this story with you does two things:
· Inspires you to talk about your own “darlings”: those ideas, endeavors, or projects that you’re SO excited about but not sure you could ever do. Those things you’re SO into that even talking about them scares you because you’re afraid you might fail. Bring them out into the light. Get other people involved. Be the vessel and allow other people to help get that baby born.
· When you’re in labor with your idea “baby” (which can be really painful, exhausting, and sanity collapsing) watch for those signs. Remember that you’re not alone – and that these ideas don’t come to us for no reason. The universe is always helping us inch along if we’re willing to tune our antenna.
Sharing your ideas with the world means that you could publicly fail; do it anyway. I don’t believe that we have creative longings for no reason: I believe they’re divinely sent and it’s our duty to give them attention and life, if we’re willing and able to. (Before you accuse me of thinking this podcast is a gift from God, I dare you to listen to it and tell me it’s not. HA…)
New things are difficult but exhilarating.
Life is scary but beautiful.
Podcasts are hard at first, but totally worth it.
Keep going my loves,
Melissa
PS: The podcast trailer is up on soundcloud here.