(Wanna listen to this instead of read? Click here for the podcast version)
People often say that they want great things in their life.
Great things like a job that excites them AND pays the bills, a partner who’s both hilarious AND romantic, or a spot on the New York Times bestseller list.
I LOVE people who are willing to dream big and want great things. And because I also know that these great goals are often surrounded by vulnerability, fear, and self-doubt, I have a follow-up question:
“Are you willing to take the possibly shitty steps to get to this great life?”
To summarize guidance from the wisest and most successful voices: If you wanna be great, you gotta first be shitty.
“Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere. Start by getting something -- anything -- down on paper.”
(Shitty First Drafts, Anne Lamott)
You need to write the terrible books, make the hideous art, start a business that fails, date some goobers, and hobble slowly around the block as you train to run a marathon.
This is the Boo. She is not afraid of walking through shit.
You need to be willing to imperfectly pursue the steps leading to greatness without giving up or collapsing in shame.
Does life have to suck on the way to being great? NO.
But if you’re not willing to be bad at something, take imperfect steps, and patch together a “good enough” idea while your magnum opus percolates with experience, you might not ever get your greatness out into the world.
“I keep a sign posted in my work area that reads "I am willing to make bad art." Sometimes visitors read that sign and are appalled at me. I have to parse it out for them. The sign does not say "I plan to make bad art." It merely says I am willing to make bad art. By being willing to make bad art, I am free to make any art-- and often, art that is very good.”
(Julia Cameron)
If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I spent a lot of time in the dreaming/waiting/wishing place. Dreaming of big things, waiting to feel good enough/smart enough, and wishing someone would just make it all easier for me instead.
And honestly that’s STILL my default – it’s just that now I know my brain and have some systems in place.
Systems like a post-it by my computer that says “shitty first draft.”
Systems like a willingness to be rejected or fail publicly while I try to walk toward greatness.
Systems like doing thought work on my brain that includes NOTICING the thoughts keeping me stuck. I can question a thought like “this isn’t good enough and nobody cares” by asking:
“Do I KNOW this isn’t good enough? Does truly NOBODY care? Don’t *I* at least care? Is this thought serving me? If not, which one would I rather believe?”
I am here to remind you that it’s okay to be shitty or mediocre right now – and actually (gasp) always. It’s a patriarchal capitalist LIE that only the most perfect/profitable/absolute BEST matter in our culture.
(Who decides what’s “best” anyway? The mean girls from high school? A critic at the newspaper? NOT TODAY SATAN.)
I have no doubt that you are both inherently worthy in all your mediocrity *and* capable of greatness.
I believe you can create shitty art earlier in a day you create your masterpiece.
I believe the road to your dreams is paved with typos, confusion, and…sometimes shitty, embarrassing, perfectly imperfect awkward steps.
Perfectly imperfect like you. And me.
What imperfect steps will you be taking today? TELL ME! I am cheering you on.
With love,
Melissa
“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste.
But there is this gap.
For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.
A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this.
And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it's normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story.
It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met.
It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”
(Ira Glass)