How are you doing on day (whatever it is) of quarantine?
I hope that you and your family are healthy above all else, and I also hope that you're taking care of your brain in this weird time.
In the creativity group I run (which you can find and join here) we've been discussing how much thoughts are affecting our entire state of being right now. (I mean, they always are, but many of us are having the same thoughts right now.)
We did a practice which I'm going to share with you here:
First, check in with yourself and your body. What, if anything, is disturbing your peace right now?
This is usually felt as a little ball of anxiety in your stomach, a tightness in your chest, or for me it's this low-level frequency of anxiety buzzing in the back of my brain.
I usually don't even know what the anxiety is over, you guys. Many of us don't - which is where this practice come in.
When I consulted the low level anxiety today, it felt like a tightness in my chest. When I stayed with is and asked, what words go along with this feeling? I eventually got an answer.
My ball of worry turned out to be thoughts about the stay at home order being lifted.
Now your turn: if you ask your body about that weird feeling, what thoughts go along with it?
Are you in financial fear, feeling weird about being alone for so long, worried about how this is affecting your weight, thinking about mortality/health/big scary stuff?
When I let my thoughts become conscious (instead of unconscious) they sounded like this:
"What if people gather too quickly and start to get sick?"
"What if other people are totally comfortable with getting together but I'm not - and this causes issues in my family or friendships?"
"What about my friends and family who depend on people gathering (like those who work in food service and retail?) Won't they suffer if we DON'T start going out?"
"How will any of this end??"
Just realizing that my low-level anxiety had a "starting" point was comforting, but then I had to stay there for a bit.
This is key: don't shove those thoughts out the door like you might a guest who's overstayed their welcome. (PS: there's an issue we don't hafta worry about during quarantine, amirite?)
We gotta sit with those thoughts a bit, and have some compassion for our brains because...you guys, they're just trying to protect us.
The low level anxiety is simply our lizard brain saying "ALERT! ALERT! DANGER! PROTECT YOURSELF!' Sometimes these are valid worries but often they're not.
Regarding my own thoughts: I am a tad bit worried about this order being lifted. I am also more and more worried about small businesses and many friends suffering layoffs the longer it's NOT lifted. There's a nice little (and extremely uncomfortable) juxtaposition within me.
(Okay, you caught me - I just wanted to use that word. But it fits.)
So, I allowed myself the icky worry: I gave myself some time to entertain those thoughts, talked about it with a loved one via Marco Polo (a great way to stay in touch right now if you haven't tried it) and did some journaling in the notes section of my phone. (You gotta be creative with a 9 month old in tow, but I needed to get the thoughts out.)
Once they were out and I'd allowed myself the feeling, I then began the process of replacing them with more helpful thoughts.
I really don't like feeling that ball of anxious worry, but I have to consciously tune the radio in my brain from "WE'RE ALL GOING DOWN!!" to another station I prefer. The way to figure out what radio station (thoughts) you want to tune to is the next step:
Ask yourself, how do I want to feel about this situation?
If you're worried about money, your job, your health, your kids, how to bail on that Zoom chat without hurting someone's feelings...all of it comes down to the same question.
How do you want to feel?
Do you want to feel safe, healthy, loved, secure, abundant, trusting, confident, held?
Once you've identified the feeling you want, ask yourself - what thoughts would it take to create that feeling?
If you want to feel more secure in your finances, it might be some thoughts like "I trust that I will be taken care of regardless of what happens. I know that money is a renewable resource and I can create more of it. I know that I'm a fantastic candidate and can't wait to see what job opportunities lie ahead."
If you're bummed about gaining weight in quarantine, your new thoughts might be something like:
"I am doing the best I can during an uncertain time and my best is enough. I am grateful for my body and all that it can do, has done, and will do. I am exactly where I need to be, and if I want to change things, every moment is an opportunity to start over."
(PS: if you need help getting from one not-so-great thought to the one that you WANT, check out my blog last week on thought ladders. This is a tool you'll return to again and again.)
As for me and my thoughts about quarantine being lifted, I decided I wanted to feel safe, secure, and feel a deep trust.
Here are the thoughts I am focusing on today:
“I trust that there is a bigger plan at play than I can realize."
"I know that if I continue to honestly check in with myself I will know how to navigate this new world with presence, love, and abundance."
"I trust that something amazing can happen on a societal level and its okay to not know what that looks like right now.”
Aaaaah. Those thoughts tune me to a way calmer radio station, and its one that I actually chose, rather than my brain's default.
(Another place that nearly every human brain overlaps is that our our inner radio is constantly tuned to the fear and freaking out station. The key is simply making that conscious and deciding to change the station.)
After all, as Jen Sincero said, "Worrying is praying for something you don't want." Why not focus all of that mental energy on something you DO desire, like inner peace or a feeling of safety?
Hang in there, my friend - you're doing better than you think.
Talk to you soon, my loves.
-Melissa
